


Villain of the week

by FluffyIsACatGirl (fabricdragon)



Series: Fan fic by fanfic characters [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Humor, M/M, Multi, Non-Explicit Sex, Sex Pollen, non-con elements (drugs)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 10:52:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8798029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabricdragon/pseuds/FluffyIsACatGirl
Summary: The Avengers are captured by the villain of the week, again. It's not like this hasn't happened before...a sex pollen humorous short.Another fan fic written by my 'A Tangled Skein' character 'Fluffy'.(her knowledge of the Avengers is  slightly limited, plus she doesn't want to give away what she does know)





	

“Well FUCK. How’d we get caught this time?” Iron Man’s voice came through his suit’s speakers as he looked around at the rest of the Avengers.

“I have no idea, some kind of tranquilizer gas I think?” Captain America said, “And watch your language.”

“Bastards took my bow!” Hawkeye grumbled.

“So? We kill them and get it back, they didn’t even chain us up, AND the Hulk is in here with us.” Black Widow said matter of factly.

“Rrrr?” Hulk was sitting up looking a bit woozy.

Suddenly a voice from the overhead speakers cackled –yes, cackled‑ “OH? You are about to WISH I’d chained you up, Fools!”

“Annd we have a Bwahahaha.” Iron Man snorted. “OK Villain of the week, what kind of dastardly death trap is this one?”

“You had it right the first time.” The speakers snickered as a pale pink gas filled the room. “You foolish heroes, you’re finished! You won’t be able to even look at each other after this! Assuming you live….”

“Oh not another poison gas?” Hawkeye   sagged against the wall. “I still have asthma form the last one.”

Hulk got up and started sniffing. 

“Captain America looked thoughtful, “I don’t think it’s poison, Hulk gets upset at those.”

“Bwahahhhaahhaha” cackled the speakers.

“Told you. We have a bwahahaha.” Sighed Iron Man.

“Soon you will all be overcome with LUST! Let’s see you keep working together after this‑“

“Oh not AGAIN!” Howled Black Widow

 “Shit” Hawkeye slid down the wall and put his head down.

“GAH!” Iron Man practically leapt out of his armor. And it closed up behind him.

“Wait, what? Why are you getting OUT of your armor?” the ceiling voice asked in confusion.

 “Did anyone remember the condoms?” Captain America asked with a resigned sigh.

“Pepper is gonna kill me” Tony Stark  stood looking beaten as Hulk started going over and … nuzzling… his armor.

Tony shook his fist at the ceiling, “You UTTER BASTARD!”

“Uh, I really wasn’t thinking that you would get OUT of your armor, why‑“

“I PROMISED Pepper she could be in the next one. She’s gonna KILL me.”

Hawkeye sighed, “Well, at least I have my emergency lube on me.”

“Mmmm?” Black Widow was standing very very still looking rather predatory. “Oooooooh yeah, this is MUCH better than the last one.”

Tony looked pointedly at Captain America. “It’s your turn. I’m old, and tired. YOU take the edge off her.” He held out his hand to Hawkeye, “Come on, let’s get away from Hulk and his... uh… sex doll.”

“Wait, what?” and the voice from the speakers stopped talking as Hulk began rutting into the Iron Man Armor enthusiastically.

“I reinforced the suits after the last time.” Tony yelled, or slurred a bit, up at the ceiling. “You have a few minutes head start.”

Hawkeye grabbed him, “Enough talking.”

The reinforcing held up pretty well, actually.  It survived long enough  for Captain America to have his uniform completely shredded off his back, and get flipped over for round two.  Hawkeye and Iron Man were petting each other in a post coital haze, and talking quietly about tag teaming Widow to give poor Captain a breather, when Hulk finally demolished the suit.

Iron Man grinned in the direction of the door.  Hulk smashed it into smithereens without a second thought, and went out.

“Right, we should  go after‑ ERK!” Iron Man cut off abruptly as Captain America, standing in what remained of his uniform, grabbed him by the throat. He got THROWN at Black Widow, who pounced on him.

Hawkeye looked dubiously over. “Is she worse than usual?”

Captain America sighed, “Right through the reinforced suit.  I vote we rename her Cougar.”

Hawkeye’s eyes slid down the mangled remains of Cap’s pants. “Well, I could…”

“No. you go over there and rescue Iron Man like a good teammate. I did MY part.”

“She dislocated my leg last time!”

“She dislocated something else this time.” He grumbled as he fell over in a corner.

 

The agency back up found them before they regained consciousness.

Iron Man woke up, “Hospital bed.” he said firmly, and then whined at how many parts hurt.

“Dehydration, lacerations, stress fracture…” Ms. Potts ran down the list.

“Hi... Pepper, uh… really I didn’t have any warning or I would have called.”

“Yes, I know, Captain America already defended your honor.”

“I don’t have any left.” He shrugged, “How’s Widow?”

“They had to sedate her‑ she attacked the paramedics.”

He winced. “And the villain of the week?”

“Captured alive, apparently, if a bit traumatized.  Luckily he had a few robot guards that Hulk appreciated before he could ‘Thank him’.”

Iron Man whistled.  “Lucky.”

“Hey, I heard you were up!” Hawkeye  was wheeled in by a nurse.

“She dislocated your leg again?”

“Other leg.”

“We need to hire more Avengers.” Iron Man grumbled.

“Younger, healthier ones.” Hawkeye nodded.

Captain America walked in, looking fresh and  undamaged‑damn his  super healing‑“More girls.” He said firmly.

Hawkeye wailed, “No way! We can barely keep up with one!”

Captain America started firmly explaining about the  greater stamina of women and how it would be good for Black Widow to have a teammate that could keep up with her….

Pepper walked out.  She went to buy Black Widow some flowers. Poor girl- all revved  up and locked in a room with those boys?  I wonder if she’s up for some company….

**Author's Note:**

> reminder: Fluffy didn't know the Hulk could turn human.


End file.
